Brazzil

{mosimage}Talk about cultural shocks! In 1960, when I was transferred from Brazil to the New York office, the employees of the office here were the ones who felt a culture shock.

They had expected a sweet blonde who probably had slept with the boss and they could not get over the tall brunette that arrived. And this Brazilian woman worked long hours, spoke Portuguese and did not know Spanish!

Furthermore she did not come from Rio but from São Paulo, a city that somehow they barely knew existed but now were told was bigger than New York.

"Are you sure she did not come from Buenos Aires?"

For my part and to everybody's surprise, I was not overwhelmed to find that my new office was on the 54th floor of the RCA Building because in São Paulo our office was on the 36th floor.

"São Paulo had buildings that high?"

I was amazed to find that I was taller than all the other girls in the office. No exception. Where were the tall Americans? Some of the men were taller than I, but not that many.

Among the Brazilians living in New York in the 60's I was different because I had arrived with a green card and a job. And I soon found out that I was the only one who had never planned to move to New York.

Although my English was considered excellent, I remember having trouble with, for instance, the cuts of meat. I would go to Gristede's to buy meat and would not recognize any cut.

Frank, at the meat counter, became one of the men in my life, and an important one, as he patiently taught me what to use to make my Brazilian meals.

He explained that I was accustomed to the French cut but in the States they used the English cut. A culture shock.

Food in general required a lot of learning. Incredible that in New York one would find only one kind of banana, that you had to go to many places to locate a sweet potato, that eating delicious corn-on-the-cob at lunch time in the office was shocking, that my salary was not enough for me to eat steak every day.

On the other hand, chicken, then a very expensive item in Brazil, was so cheap in New York that for four or five months that was all I ate. It took all that time for me to look around and find that I could have beef, lamb, veal, pork and many kinds of unknown fish.

But this stranger adapted quickly and loved life in the United States. There were seven nights in the week for me to do as I pleased and that was altogether a new thing.

My mother had died when I was in my early twenties and, as the oldest of the four children, the responsibility for the house and the family fell on my shoulders.

As a matter of fact, when father learned that I had been transferred to New York, he forbade me to come. He felt it was my responsibility to stay home and take care of him and the house.

It took a lot of planning and convincing, but in the end it was agreed that I would come for one year only, not the three years that had been the company's plan. However, he died of a heart attack just as I was planning my return and I am still here 45 years later.

In Brazil I had been the General Manager of the company and that meant that I knew personally all the important people of the New York office, starting with Nelson Rockefeller who was the chairman when I began working for the company in 1954.

That now put me in a special position in the office and I was able to work as the Assistant Director of Public Relations.

In New York, this transferred employee was the source of more and more cultural shocks as my colleagues learned about the different attitudes of an old and traditional Brazilian family. They could not believe those quaint customs still existed.

Then something happened that I recommend to everybody moving to another country. It is a sure way to make friends quickly. I broke my leg.

Barely three months after my arrival it happened. I had never seen snow and did not know the difference between snow and ice. Everybody in the office, from the Chairman of the Board to the messenger boy was horrified and sorry for the Southern butterfly that had to learn about snow the hard way.

It is difficult to describe the shower of kind gestures, visits and gifts that arrived at the St. Claire's Hospital.

As a matter of fact, I was taken there in a police car with lights flashing as there were no more ambulances available. The weekend of snow had created a serious hazard in the city.

Three Brazilians walked down Park Avenue to Rockefeller Center that morning only to arrive and find that their respective offices were closed. What a shock! In Brazil offices do not close because of bad weather, although I admit we do not have snow.

During my first day in this American hospital I suddenly saw cousins who lived in Connecticut arriving to visit me. How did they know I was there? Then I remembered that I had put their names as next of kin in the forms I had signed on arrival.

As I admired the flowers they had brought, I heard Rusty say, "Clelia, you should have told us. We would have understood. After all we are your family."

I did not know what he was talking about, and suddenly Joan saw my confusion and asked me "Do you know where you are, Clelia?"

"Sure. In a very crowded hospital, near the office."

"Yes, Clelia, but you are in the Maternity Ward."

Maternity Ward! What a shock! We really had a good laugh.

And here is another shock. Nobody, but nobody told me I was beautiful. I was different. Many said I was always elegant, but what I heard most of all here was that I had such a beautiful posture. A good posture? Is that a compliment? Not in Brazil.

Touches and kisses. Americans are afraid to touch you. Not Brazilians. We give emphasis to what we are saying by touching your arm, for instance. And we kiss a lot.

I remember visiting cousins in Denver soon after I arrived in the States and kissing the young children. They loved it and the parents would call us the kissing cousins as we kissed in the morning and in the evening, when we parted and when we met again.

And two kisses, if you please, one on each cheek. They still do this but not with everybody, just this kissing cousin.

As a matter of fact, I made a decision soon after I arrived here. Should I absorb all customs and become Americanized? Or should I stick to my Brazilian habits and be different? I opted for the latter.

As a result, guests arriving at my apartment get two kisses on arrival and two when they leave. They are so accustomed to this, that they offer their cheeks at the same time I offer mine. I love it.

Another shock for me was to learn that I simply could not afford to live in New York as I had lived in São Paulo. There I used to have my hair and nails done every week, I would have weekly visits to a health club for massages, saunas, exercises and even a once-a-month leg waxing. And I had a full time maid.

How could I survive without these amenities? After a while I decided that my hair and my nails came first and the rest would have to wait. I should add that today I do all these things and my friends think I am a millionaire. In fact, it is a question of priorities and I do without things that are less important to me.

Fortunately I love to cook, so I decided that another priority was to have a cleaning woman once a week because I hate to clean. It works out very well and I live a happy and contented life, with more comfort than many wealthy friends of mine.

Still another shock was to learn that living in New York I did not need a car. I could walk everywhere. How wonderful! Since I have always walked miles every day, this was not a great change in my life. But dinner hours were.

In Brazil I used to eat an apple for lunch every day because I had so many household chores to do at lunch time. No time for more. When I arrived here I learned that Americans eat a sandwich for lunch and have dinner at what is really tea time.

I saw Americans sitting down for dinner at 5:30 or even 5:00 pm. And I would be hungry at 8:00 or 8:30 if I had lunch. I don't like sandwiches and after the initial shock I adapted again and reverted to my daily apple for lunch, to the surprise of all my friends.

Customs are so different from country to country. In Brazil I have three godchildren, one of whom I baptized when I was 23. He was the youngest of 11 children with a very strict father.

The boy learned to kiss my hand and ask for my blessing. He is over 50 today and his hair is all white but he still kisses my hand. I feel like a real godmother.

In Brazil this means a lot and it is an important role as you are supposed to substitute for the parents in case of need.

I remember paying for Paulo's piano lessons because he wanted very much to learn to play and the family would not have been able to afford it.

Here in the States I have a young cousin who is named after me because her father and I had been pen pals, corresponding in English for years when we were still in school.

Upon my arrival in this country I learned that the parents had not yet baptized the three children. I said I would like to be Clelia's godmother and asked to be informed about the baptism date. Time passed and one day I asked my cousin when they were going to baptize Clelia. "We have," he replied.

"What do you mean you have? I am supposed to be Clelia's godmother."

"You are. I have put your name in the papers." I was speechless. There are godmothers and godmothers.

This series of cultural shocks is autobiographical but happened to many of the new friends I made here too.

We talked about them and shared many laughs. They definitely contributed to make life in this country very interesting but also a challenge.

Clelia Leite Moraes was born in a coffee "fazenda" in the State of São Paulo into an old and traditional Brazilian family. In the early 60's she was working for a company of the Rockefeller Group that transferred her to the head office in New York City.

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Charming story
written by Guest, June 11, 2005

Clelia,

I really enjoyed reading your tale. It's always interesting to me to learn how people adapt to new environments and how their new environment is effected by their presence. I like immigrant stories. This experience has always fascinated me.

Steve from Canada

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like that
written by Guest, June 11, 2005

I LIKE THE ARTICLE. AS A BRAZILIAN IMIGRANT WHO LIVED FOR SOME TIME IN AUSTRALIA IN RECENTLY IN THE USA, I LIKE TO READ OTHER'S EXPEREINECES AS WELL. WELL DONE CLELIA!

JOAO / LONG ISLAND

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Hi Cousin
written by Guest, June 11, 2005

Hi Clelia,

On your next article you should tell the readers some interesting stories from your 20 years experiences as General Manager of the American/Brazilian Chamber of Commerce in New York.

Your cousin,
Ricardo C. Amaral
.

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Great article
written by Guest, June 11, 2005

Thanks for the great story Celia I look forward to reading more about your 'culture shock' in the USA.

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More
written by Guest, June 11, 2005

This was a nice introduction, but I want to hear more. For example, you write,

"(In São Paulo) I used to have my hair and nails done every week, I would have weekly visits to a health club for massages, saunas, exercises and even a once-a-month leg waxing. And I had a full time maid."

Yes, Brazil has hordes of subsistence and below subsistence laborers to massage you, wax your legs, and wash and cook for you. I'm curious, How do you feel now about Brazil's economy? How about empregadas in Brazil?

Beyond your experience of culture shock, what insights do you have about Brazil and the US as a result? That’s the more interesting story. Your article raises many questions similar to the ones above, for example, related to the relations of family and social acquaintances, work ethic, outlook on life, etc. I’d like to hear something a little more.

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...
written by Guest, June 11, 2005

I always laugh at the Brazilian strugle to distinguish themselves from the Spanish speaking part of latin america; they remind me of the Canadians and their endless crusade to make themselves different from Americans.

LOL

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Latin America
written by Guest, June 12, 2005

It is just plain-nonsense to put all the Spanish speaking countries of Latin America in a single category, neglecting all the enormous differences that are to be found between places like Mexico and Argentina, for example. When Brazil is added to this big amorphous label, it becomes even more meaningless.

We do not struggle to be different from our Spanish speaking friends, we just are different. We speak a different language; have a different ethnical composition and more religious diversity than in other Latin American countries (Brazil has the second biggest protestant population in the world, after the United Sates). We like samba, not salsa

I remember having read somewhere about a TIME magazine project to launch a regular edition devoted to the so called Latin America in the sixties. I do not recall the details, but the project failed and when considering the reason Time magazine executives realized that they were aiming at an inexistent market. There was no such a thing as a unified “Latin American” market then. Mexicans did not care about political problems in Argentina, Brazilians did not know where Costa Rica was located. People in Chile did not give a damn about what was going on in El Salvador. The situation has not changed much since then ….

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Excellent ... I want more!
written by Guest, June 12, 2005

This piece is so beautifully written, interesting and sparkles with lovely touches of humanity. I want more, and I want it now!

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LOL
written by Guest, June 12, 2005

Brazilians are different from people in other Latin American countries, just as the person pointed out above, people in other Latin American countries are different from each other.

Canada IS different from the US. They don't have to "struggle to distinguish themselves" and they aren't on a "cursade to make themselves different." You have to be a real dolt to not know the difference between a Canadian and someone from the US. I suppose Quebec, for example is just an example of the "crusade" of the Canadians to "make themselves different." LOL.

And the only place where Latin American countries are seen as homogeneous is in the minds of the ignorant. I’ve met plenty of people in the US who think Brazilians speak Spanish. They have no idea that on this basic and important level, Brazil IS different from other Latin American countries, let alone on any other cultural level. One thought Brazil is in Africa though. Now THAT was a laugh…LOL.

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...
written by Guest, June 12, 2005

Americans are basically very narrow minded and generally believe that the people of South America are less worthy than Americans. Most believe that Brazilians are basically nonwhite or mixed race not white (or at least Anglo Saxon) and thus not as good as American whites. They generally believe this about most of South America.

South Americans all look alike and sound alike to the average American and they aren't interested in learning the difference.

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...
written by Guest, June 13, 2005

not only brazil is different to spanish speaking latin america, but spanish speaking latin american countries are different from each other as well

take a trip to cuba, and then go to panama, and is like you're in two different continents

go to argentina, and then to bolivia and you realize that argentina is more like europe than like bolivia

costa rica has nothing in common with the dominican republic and so on

the latin american diaspora is very vague, in reality latin americans have as much in common with each other, as much as americans have with english speaking nigeria.

the only thing that unites that continent is the two main languages (spanish/portuguese) and that is because they are extremely similar, other than that there is not much of a similarity among latin americans, their ccent changes a big deal inside brazil's regions, and from spanish speaking country to the other

i have heard that if a puerto rican goes to paraguay, he will be basically missunderstood because of the tremendous language variation

only ignorant americans think, latin america is this continent full of dark skin indigenous people wearing mexican sombreros that go around calling each other latino.

as a matter of fact i have yet to hear a person in any latin american country of the ones i've visited, saying that they are latinos, most of them don't even acknowledge that American term.

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written by Guest, June 13, 2005

I agree I've been to Dominican republic, and Peru, eventhough they speak the same language (Spanish) there is absolutely nothing similar between these two countries; Dominican Republic resembles english speaking Jamaica, far more than resembling Peru; Peru for some reason has a rather unusual substantial Japanese influence, I have never seen so many Japanese in my life!

PS: I've never been to Japan! & I saw more Japs in Peru, than here in Vancouver.

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...
written by Guest, June 13, 2005

You would find even more japaneses in Brazil. Brazil has the largest population oj Japanese and descendents of Japanese living outside Japan. (about 3 million people)

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a fresh new voice
written by Guest, June 13, 2005

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Clelia Moraes's experiences as a young Brazilian in NYC during a time when the world was a much bigger place than it is now. I laughed and I cried through my reading of her experiences. Yes, I want more from this excellent new writer. Brava, Clelia!

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Clelia strikes again
written by Guest, June 13, 2005

I just loved the cultural shocks. As an eternal traveller,living all over the world, I undestood and really enjoyed every word. I can see Clelia while she is there writing these texts. Just write more and more, you have so many stories to tell, and we will all enjoy they way you look at all the events, with so much understanding, love and sense of humour!lakelandsylvia@ajato.com.br

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beth
written by Guest, June 14, 2005

loved it all,especially,the responses

beth xxxooo

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Hola nega!
written by Guest, June 14, 2005

Parabens! Muito bem escrito e muito interessante. Como americana de nascimento (mas brasileira de coracao) eu tambem sofri "culture shock" ao chegar nos Estados Unidos apos 20 anos no Brasil. No fim, nos duas consequimos acostumar-nos a New York. Com abracos e beijos (dois), Ruth

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...
written by Guest, June 14, 2005

As a Brazilian/American who came to the United States approximately at the same time as Clelia did I read and re-read Clelia''s story and loved it. It is humorous, uncomplicated and refreshing.I lived through many similar experiences of culture shock, constant adaptation to American ways without losing my Brazilian inner-core, and learned to admire the spirit of enterprise and hard work that pushes this country forward. Clelia is fully assimilated to the New York way of life, completely functional at all levels of social intercourse in America, but still very Brazilian from Sao Paulo, which is saying a lot. Keep up the good work.

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...
written by Guest, June 14, 2005

"Shock" may be a bit of a strong word…New Yorkers are not easily shocked But I see what you mean.

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Que agradavel surpresa te ler!
written by Guest, June 18, 2005

ysuarez@globo.com
Clelia estou encantada realmente da maneira que voce contou como se adaptou nos States - Já imprimi e vou mandar para Vanda via faz - Parabens amiga Yvette

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...
written by Guest, June 18, 2005

In regards to how short author thought people were,in new york, the US like Brazil are both immigrant countries and people tend to vary in physical structure by region. I grew up in the west of the US and the majority of white people I new were blond haired blue eyed. When people I knew would go back to the northeast, such as new york, they would always comment on how short and dark everybody was, probably due to having many more decendents of southern european decent. When my mom visited Sao Paulo she could not believe that so many people were taller than her. She expected people to be short and dark. Also in regards to the comments about latin america being one culture, this myth is not just perpetuated by ignorant americans, it is perpetuated by people who are immiagrants from latin america to the US in order to secure affirmative action minority rights. After all wouldn't you want to get your son into harvarfd on a minority scholorship with a 3.5 GPA. Or if that fails he/she could always go into construction where as a minority they can bid on governement contracts, competing onlly against other minorities. The term latino was coined by chicano groups in the 1960's to secure these rights and reject american. But it is funny because they are the ones who actually perpetuate the myth about everybody in latin american being one culture and being a brown race. Americans are ignorant it is true, but nothing compared to this stupid mexicans.

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...
written by Guest, June 19, 2005

"…it is perpetuated by people who are immiagrants from latin america to the US in order to secure affirmative action minority rights." You are an ignorant person, that is very clear.

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...
written by Guest, June 19, 2005

Although I will admit that my spelling after six beers on a saturday afternoon leaves something to be desired, please explain to me how the statement made was ignorant. It is funny how so many people just dismiss things out of hand because it does not follow the usual PC line. Have you ever investigated this issue or thought about it logically. Do you know the history of why the term latino was coined. I suggest you give concrete examples of how what I said was wrong instead of labeling me as igorant. Perhaps you should look at yourself, and ask if it is possible you are the one who is ignorant. Now please give concrete examples of how I am wrong. If not I suggest reading a book called "Brown" by Richard Rodriguez. Also I apologize for calling mexicans stupid, only people who refer to themselves as chicano or refer to thier race as latino are stupid.

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...
written by Guest, June 19, 2005

"Also I apologize for calling mexicans stupid, only people who refer to themselves as chicano or refer to thier race as latino are stupid."

But for the spelling mistakes I totaly agree with you

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Diversity
written by Guest, June 20, 2005

Is not beautifull diversity? Just 9 years living in USA and having opportunity to travel into many different communities I had discovered an America with some similarities as the Brazilians have. It is so nice hear from someone that came 35 years ago and prepered this bridge and informed to the Americans natives our little differences. After all that friendship between our countries perdues. Despite politics and economic games we are similar. Brazil can be my wife but I can't leave my mistress America. I love her. Don't you?

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Chipolata
written by Guest, June 22, 2005

LOL I was expecting this big controversial tale when it’s just the “personal experiences” of some Brazilian woman relocating to the US. I found it interesting but the article is somewhat unbiased and simplistic (like many articles in Brazzil.com actually). Also the woman comes across as slightly snobbish and superficial, the whole thing about having your nails, getting massages and having an in-house servant is described by her as if it were a “necessity” and the way she describes certain basic “cultural” differences between Brazilians & Yanks i.e. “having sandwiches” for lunches as if it was it this “crazy” thing to do is a little narrow-minded. Anyway, one thing’s for certain, it does show that this transcultural tale took place in the 60’s.

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Quem
written by Guest, July 11, 2005

I enjoyed the piece, but like Chipolta I found myself distracted by some of the comparisons. Perhaps Clelia should have written, "...my colleagues learned about the different attitudes of an old and traditional and very wealthy Brazilian family..." But still, I found it very enjoyable to read. A short piece like this can't be all things to all people.

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PEOPLE ARE THE SAME
written by Guest, July 16, 2005

I lived in USA whem I was a sixteen. Now I am fourty-two. I used to think people are different but now i am sure we are all the same, it doent matters if we are black, white, brown, yellow ....

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JJ
written by Guest, July 17, 2005

I found the article quite interesting! I think a lot of us Brazilians living abroad will relate to the issues (simple or not) Clelia brought up. It was very enjoyable to read and at times it was like reading my own story! :-)

And it is great that a simple article about“personal experiences” of a Brazilian woman relocating to the US, generated so much discussion.

Good job Clelia and good job all the ones who sent their comments! :-)

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Ariadne
written by Guest, July 26, 2005

I enjoyed the article. It didn't remind me of my mother who was born in Jau in Sao Paulo in 1934 and has been living in Perth Australia for 37 years and has forgotten how to speak Portuguese. She's never been back to Brasil and still doesn't have Australian citizenship. She speaks English with a strong accent and never taught me to speak Portuguese so I've had to go there twice to learn. My mum is now 71 and still isn't intending to return to Brasil. She has no Brasilian contacts and when she meets someone Brazilian, she can't speak it properly.

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Anna Banana
written by Guest, August 11, 2005

Another piece written by an ethnocentristic rich spoiled brazilian "madame".
Sure you can a pay for semi-slavish labor to do your nails and treat you like royalty . For the amount of taxes ou have to pay in Brazi and not getting any quality public service and the current situation of the jobs market/bureocracy/corruption in Brazil sure do have its disavantages compared to NYC..

But funny reading nonetheless.

Cheers

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lollo
written by Guest, May 17, 2006

brazil is a truly messed up country full of dysfunctionalities is it therefore any wonder people whish to get the hell outta here in large numbers?????

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lollo
written by Guest, May 17, 2006

brazil is a truly messed up country full of dysfunctionalities is it therefore any wonder people whish to get the hell outta here in large numbers?????

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...
written by Helen Silva, February 20, 2008

I am an american woman who is fifty years old and love to live life. I spent years traveling all over the United States. Meeting people from all over. I am now married to a Brazillan
man and have met many Brazillians as a result. They are truly the friendlest, generous, and most devoted humans I have ever met. My life is so enriched by these people.
Helen Silva

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