Here in Brazil, I see so many natural looking, attractive, fit people. So, I guess that I shouldn't be surprised to read that there are twice as many plastic surgery operations than five years ago. One of Carnaval's nicknames is "Silicone Carnaval" because so many people get chest and or derrière implants for the occasion, (which has even led to silicone shortages!).

Miss Brazil 2001 supposedly had 23 cosmetic treatments before her 22nd birthday, beating Michael Jackson, Joan Rivers, and Cat Lady.

Driving back from a social event, my fellow, ex-pat friend, Wendy, exclaimed, "Golly! Does everyone get plastic surgery once they move to Brazil? Am I going to be expected to get surgery too, along with doing my weekly manicure, pedicure, facial, and waxings?"

"Well, I haven't anything done (yet). And, it wouldn't surprise me if I'm not alone." (I didn't have the heart to tell Wendy about my plastic surgeon consultation scheduled for later that afternoon).

"Well," Wendy replied, "Out of the thirty some, middle aged women that I met at the art show this morning, I tallied seven tummy tucks, sixteen implants, ten nose jobs, and three face lifts - not to their mention chemical peels, dyed hair, botox, and acrylic nails. And, I'm sure those were just the ladies who were open about their work done or whose bandages were showing."

"Where do these women think they are, LA or Hollywood?" Wendy ranted, disgustedly. "I had a friend who got silicone boobs and got breast cancer, another one got fat and divorced after her liposuction, and another one got old and croaked anyway. I'm not going to let that happen to me!"

To my own surprise, after moving to Brazil, I've considered plastic surgery. First of all, I can never resist a bargain. Plastic surgery here is like a going-out-of-business sale, compared to US prices. Once you have surgery, it's done, except for the bruises, hospital stay, bill, and having to reintroduce yourself to people who knew the "before" you, like an identical twin. Lastly, the medical care in Brazil is superb!

During my consultation with Doctor Faca, he recommended a major overhaul for my face. My non-beauty pageant beak, cheekbones, and chin would require a major fashion overhaul. He included the skin damage from the tanning salon, the scar under my lip from blowing out a flaming marshmallow, and the scar over my left eyebrow that I got from accidentally hitting myself with a hammer. There would also be aging wrinkles to snip, nip, and tuck. He would assess below my neck during another visit.

I started to worry. What if Dr. Faca pulled too much skin back on my face, making me look terminally surprised, and requiring me to dine through a straw? What if he slipped with the scalpel, and snipped off my Cindy Crawford burnt sienna, fuzzy mole that my botanist aunt admires so much?

Would I loose my physical identity that took me all of these years to acquire? Well, I guess if that were to happen I could express my physical uniqueness in other ways. Then, I could always opt for tattoos, body piercings, and perhaps, even be a little less careful with our power tools.

This article was written in a humorous vein and should not be taken seriously.

D.E. Finley is a writer and graphic artist. You can visit her website at http://defDesigns.com

© D. E. Finley 2005.

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