Finally everything has been explained: Paraguay is not to be blamed for the foot and mouth disease return to Brazil. Much less the government's economic team, who denies having blocked the release of resources to combat the malady. Even the paranoid version that there was sabotage from other beef-exporting countries was discredited.

The Planalto Palace, the presidential office, discovered who is in fact responsible for the new bout of foot and mouth disease, which has been causing so many losses to our economy. The blame should be put at the cow's hoof.

Why didn't our cows take good care of themselves? Why have they eaten grass without having it analyzed first? Why didn't they find which way the wind was blowing before breathing, thus avoiding the risk of getting germs from faraway lands? Was it a good idea to surrender themselves to the bulls with such lust? Why haven't they created a working group, or why haven't they at least written a petition to the Agriculture Department?

No One Wants the Blame

It seems like a joke, but nobody wishes to get the rap. The Paraguayans are already planning a new war against Brazil, to defend their herd's honor. Finance Minister Antonio Palocci, despite Agriculture Minister Roberto Rodrigues' protests, swears that the money was deposited in the Finance Ministry. The only problem is that no cow came forward to claim it. The competitors maintain that the Brazilian beef is the best.

The worst is that the versions keep on changing in this story. President Lula, in Europe, went as far as to declare that the foot and mouth disease bout had been contained. According to him there was a single focus of the disease and only 230 heads of cattle had been killed, as a final act that showed the government's resolute stand. That wasn't his lucky day and five other focuses appeared and heretofore, six thousand heads of cattle have already been killed and buried.

We try to convince the Russians that the problem was restricted to the Mato Grosso do Sul state, a truth that they exchanged for the invitation to one of our Air Force colonels to become Brazil's first Brazilian astronaut.

As for the beef, they will only import it from us, after our birdman comes back from space, in the middle of next year. Other countries extended their prohibition to the beef originating in any part of the Brazilian territory, even knowing that the disease had been found only in the very limited area of the municipality of Eldorado.

If at least there were some kind of compensation we might be inclined to erect a statue to the Brazilian cow, that is, if we could get more beef to supply our domestic market at cheaper prices. But will anybody believe this latest government promise?

Succession and Corruption

Would you like to know when the Lower House will finish its trial of the deputies charged with breaching the parliamentary decorum? At best, in the middle of the second semester of 2006. With or without extraordinary congressional sessions in January and February, there won't be enough time to carry out the 13 cases, which are being heard in the Board of Ethics, going through the initial defense, the hearing of witnesses and, finally, the individual voting in the full House.

Perhaps the trials of José Dirceu, Sandro Mabel and Romeu Queiroz will not take that long since they were already been examined. But the cases against the 11 other who last week decided to not resign are going to take longer.

The beheading climate is going to get mixed with the presidential campaign, generating what Lula tried to avoid, among other things recommending collective resignation and not moving a finger to save José Dirceu. The President would rather have the episode closed by the end of the month so he can dedicate himself to the reelection.

Now, the preliminaries and the stands will be taken not only by the candidates' promises, but also by the live presentation of all kinds of charges capable of disturbing the already difficult attempt to get a second mandate. Piecemeal sackings is about the worst that could happen to the government. This of course, after the acquittal of those charged with wrongdoing...

To Be JK

A few days ago former chief of staff José Dirceu did it. Yesterday, it was former Rio governor's turn. President Lula has already made references to him, and Fernando Henrique Cardoso as well. All of them have compared themselves to the late President Juscelino Kubitschek.

The former chief of staff did it because he considers to be a victim of injustice as JK was, being unjustly deprived of his political rights. The former governor of Rio mentioned JK when he launched his candidacy because he will do what Juscelino did: boost democracy and development.

The current President did it for envy, since the builder of Brasília keeps his popularity intact. As for former President Cardoso who knows about his reasons for instead of building wealth, he dilapidated the public patrimony.

JK must be quite upset in his tomb. Most of those who compare themselves to him do not understand a thing about his government, or the historical process. But dream hasn't been forbidden yet. There are people who believe they are Napoleon, Julius Caesar...

Carlos Chagas writes for the Rio’s daily Tribuna da Imprensa and is a representative of the Brazilian Press Association, in Brasília. He welcomes your comments at carloschagas@hotmail.com.

Translated from the Portuguese by Arlindo Silva.

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