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 And how was Christmas for the Brazilian political honchos? Santa Claus brought Lula's Chief of Staff, Dilma Rousseff, an autographed picture of former British Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, with promises that Dilma will become the planet's new Iron Lady. National Integration Minister, Ciro Gomes, got an electric shaver because, positively, the beard he let grow did not convince anyone, much less his voters.
Santa Claus granted the wish he received in the kind little letter sent from Finance Minister Antônio Palocci. The good old man brought him a gigantic meat-grinding machine able to hold all the opponents of his economic policy so that they can be ground all at once. For Central Bank chief Henrique Meirelles, Santa brought a certificate signed by George W. Bush, in which the US President grants him American citizenship and sends him an invitation to take over as chairman of the Federal Reserve in Washington. Furlan and the Chinese Language The Minister of Development, Industry and Foreign Trade, Luiz Furlan, found in his stocking a Lexotan's bottle and a prescription to fight depression through the study of the Chinese language. Agriculture Minister, Roberto Rodrigues, got a brand new karaoke device, with the recommendation to improve the rendition of the tangos and boleros he intends to put in a record. Vice President José Alencar, on the other hand, besides getting hundreds of little lead soldiers since he is also Defense Minister, was surprised to find by the Christmas tree a contract creating the "Coteminas Speculations and Investments", with the explanation that he would get much more money by buying government's securities than by manufacturing textiles. Justice Minister, Márcio Thomaz Bastos, however, was alarmed to see a miniature of the Justice statue without a blindfold covering its eyes, and the warning that the blindfold had been lent to the Attorney General's Office. Former Chief of Staff and former congressman José Dirceu seemed like a child getting on and out of a brand new Harley-Davidson motorcycle, with a market value of US$ 90,000, even though he could not understand why, together with the bike, there was also a detailed map of the Americas, telling how to get out from São Paulo and reach Havana. Delúbio Soares, Marcos Valério, Waldomiro Diniz, among others belonging to the government gang, were ecstatic to be given copies of Al Capone's biography together with the comic book: "The Fantastic Adventures of Dr. Sivana". Dr. Sivana being Captain Marvel's infamous archenemy. Santa Claus, left in the lobby of the luxurious apartment building where former President Fernando Henrique Cardoso lives, the first issue, in 26 volumes, of the book printed in the North Pole, "Me, Me and More of Me," the sociologist-president's autobiography. Moreover, he left as a gift a translation contract so that his autobiography can be translated in all the world's languages, dead and living. São Paulo's mayor, José Serra, who lost the presidency to Lula in the previous elections, had his wish granted. He received a fur cap to warm up his bald head, with the signatures of the Avenida Paulista's potentates who also wrote on the walls of City Hall that they are sure that the mayor is not communist and that he is not going to change Brazil's economic policy. For Lula, a Lathe Geraldo Alckmin, the governor of São Paulo, did not like and did not understand why he got a sophisticated ice-making machine that can also bag smoke, plus a complete video about the Revolution of 1932, showing in factual images how the Minas Gerais troops beat the São Paulo troops in the Mantiqueira's tunnel. Santa Claus made a point of sending a telegram to each one of the 513 House representatives and 81 senators explaining why they are not getting any present this year. The reason? Because two extra salaries had been deposited in their accounts, but none of them was in Brasília for Christmas. The good old man was also absent from Brasília's higher courts, but for a different reason. He sent his dwarves to explain that he was afraid of losing his red clothes, the cap, the boots and even the sled and the reindeers. He had been informed that a certain president of the most important national Justice court had made plans to take over his place, since he hadn't been able to divest President Lula. And what about the President? Santa Claus almost missed him since he thought the President was in Brasília, at the presidential residence Palácio da Alvorada or the presidential ranch, the Granja do Torto. He was quite astounded to find out that Lula had gone to his apartment in São Bernardo do Campo. But after engaging the reindeers in a special run (or should I say flight?), he found a way to leave a lathe at the building's lobby. What for? So that the veteran metallurgist go back to his old profession when he finishes his mandate. For the record, then, we have evidence that the presents were delivered, even though it was quite shocking for the old man to hear all the honchos from the government calling him Santa Claus, Santa Claus, in English, and not Papai Noel as he was used to hear before. Well, times they are a-changin'. Carlos Chagas writes for the Rio’s daily Tribuna da Imprensa and is a representative of the Brazilian Press Association, in Brasília. He welcomes your comments at carloschagas@hotmail.com. Translated from the Portuguese by Arlindo Silva.
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