Norman Normal, a middle-aged expatriate journalist, was awakened as happened every day in São Paulo by a pack of dogs barking. They howled and bayed crazily as they did at several points during the day and, as usual, their owners made no attempt to shut them up. Norman wished the Higienópolis Poisoner who had terrorized dog owners in that district in the mid-90s by feeding poisoned meat to their hounds was still around.
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A heart wrenching story on Norman Normal.I think that the poor soul is lost and a "prisoneiro" to his own beliefs and morals that are not applicable under the circumstances.
To change his miserable life,here are my suggestions:a)He has to get rid of his nagging wife as well as his totally unruly daughter by any legal means b)He should get hold of that secretary of his,Flávia, kick her fat butt till she begs for mercy. Once she is domesticated, he should initiate an affair with her. What cant be accomplished at home can be more easily done at the office. Norm AbNormal should know by now.c)If these don't work, he should lodge a protest with MP, TRT, etc; in his impeccable (but questionable) Portuguese about his wife, daughter, Flavia and that lazy Lourdes (what does she do all through the day in Norm´s apartment, besides watching the "Novelas") for making his life miserable. Probably that Lourdes needs a kick on her fat butt also.d)If nothing works, AbNormal should give up and go and try to climb the Mt.Everest.
Any further questions and suggestions?
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... written by Carlos J Bittencourt,
August 18, 2009
What a load of s**t.I doubt Mr. Fitzpatrick even knows Sao Paulo.Street dogs in higianopolis my ass, and ants invading his apartment? Go find a life mate.
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Ants written by Osvaldo,
August 19, 2009
We've ants in our apartment. And we had in our house. Were are you from?
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Good question Osvaldo to Carlos J Bittencourt ! written by ch.c.,
August 19, 2009
Is even his spelling for "higianopolis" correct ? Especially if he is a BRAZILIAN ?
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Lies written by I A ,
August 19, 2009
Xuxa, being famous for being famous? Hello! Get to grips with reality. Even THAT is needed to write fake stories.
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entertaining and well-written written by Tommy Tutone,
August 20, 2009
absolutely enjoyed this article! well done mate! i was enlightened and amused by your descriptions of ssampa. i request that you write about another day in the life of normal normal
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SO FUNNY IT'S TRUE! written by Joe Lopes,
August 20, 2009
John, this is hilarious!!! I wouldn't be laughing if it wasn't true, but boy, does it bring back (not too fond) memories of traipsing thru the cement-cracked streets of Sampa, the smoke, the smog, the noise, the air-pollution, the mid-afternoon downpours, the noise, the diesel-fueled buses, the noise, and...oh, did I mention the noise? That barking dog scenario was a riot -- keep up the brilliant work!!!
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Hilarious written by Daniela Martins,
August 22, 2009
This is absolutely hilarious! And oh so true...I'm a Brazilian, paulistana, and couldn't agree more. The brazilian national anthem should be dogs barking, as this is true in every single city or town I've ever visited. In fact, I think it's impossible to sleep-in in Brazil. Your article shows the delightful mess that is brazilian culture and politics, and I couldn't agree more.
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... written by Desiderada,
August 24, 2009
Xuxa is a whore and the first comment is so typical of Brasilian men--- blame it all on any woman that they can and then slap her around and beat her up a bit! Brasilian Men are Neanderthals! Get with it,... it is 2009!
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... written by Manda Chuva,
August 26, 2009
the first comment is so typical of Brasilian men--- blame it all on any woman that they can and then slap her around and beat her up a bit! Brasilian Men are Neanderthals! Get with it,... it is 2009!
Now the only alternative left for Norm AbNormal is to do a "Banji Jump" from the Mt.Everest without any cord attached to him. May his soul R.I.P.
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... written by CW,
September 08, 2009
This was very funny ---perhaps a little exaggerated, but not much. Things haven't changed in half a century, at least in the big cities. I taught school in Brazil in the 1960s. Occasionally I had to visit the office of the state minister of education in the state capital, a five hour bus trip for me. The women who "worked" there were always gossiping, reading magazines (novelas em retrato), talking to friends on the business phones, and painting their fingernails. I often wondered if anything got done. When the Brazilian school director went to see the minister, she often sat in the office for 2 or 3 days before she was seen. But when I (a foreigner) showed up, I usually had an audience with the minister within an hour or two. So anytime the director wanted anything, she sent me. For several years I said nothing, not wishing any retribution on our school or the director. But the last time I knew I would be visiting the minister's office, I told her that I was disappointed that she was so accommodating toward me, but not toward her own people. She mumbled something like "é assim mesmo." I taught in a little town in the sertão where people worked long, hard hours to eek out a living. It was a quiet, simple town, and I missed the conveniences of home. But there have been many times since I left Brazil when my world (E.U.A.) was so crazy, complicated, and noisy, that I would have gladly given it all up to return to the simple life and the hardworking people of the Brazilian interior. And, oh, yeah, also to get away from the Bush (2) administration.
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Life in Brazil written by Maria Dolores de Paula,
October 21, 2009
Hi, Norman ! There is always the good and bad side of it all - else you wouldn´t be living in Brazil...I guess love blues , gossip and people who want to do you under in the workplace are present in all offices of the world...And old couples still holding hands is a blessing to be looked up not down (my hus and I are 53 and we do it all the time : it means ´I´m still there for you´, ´I´ll hold you if you ever trip, I won´t let you fall down´...We´re not ashamed of it, or embarassed by it, it just feels good after so many years sharing everytihing...) Scandals, corruption, yes, too blant in Brazil. I hate it too. But I read news from abroad a lot, and it happens over there too, just think about the tabloids covering the royal family in England... With a little more polish , but yes, it is there. It is just harder to cover up things where the sun is brighter... But of course you´ve got some points about the loud dogs, you forgot the large population of street dogs, and the people who take their dogs to drop their dirt outside , on your sidewalk... heheh Amusing tale, it was. How about one on living in New York or Chicago or Los Angeles... ? Durma bem, norm. You´ve earned your day !!! Congrats!
Norman Normal, a middle-aged expatriate journalist, was awakened as happened every day in São Paulo by a pack of dogs barking. They howled and bayed crazily as they did at several points during the day and, as usual, their owners made no attempt to shut them up. Norman wished the Higienópolis Poisoner who had terrorized dog owners in that district in the mid-90s by feeding poisoned meat to their hounds was still around. 
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To change his miserable life,here are my suggestions:a)He has to get rid of his nagging wife as well as his totally unruly daughter by any legal means b)He should get hold of that secretary of his,Flávia, kick her fat butt till she begs for mercy. Once she is domesticated, he should initiate an affair with her. What cant be accomplished at home can be more easily done at the office. Norm AbNormal should know by now.c)If these don't work, he should lodge a protest with MP, TRT, etc; in his impeccable (but questionable) Portuguese about his wife, daughter, Flavia and that lazy Lourdes (what does she do all through the day in Norm´s apartment, besides watching the "Novelas") for making his life miserable. Probably that Lourdes needs a kick on her fat butt also.d)If nothing works, AbNormal should give up and go and try to climb the Mt.Everest.
Any further questions and suggestions?