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Anonymous
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12/12/2002
18:33:53
Subject: abusive behavior
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Where in Belo Horizonte would a man turn for help if he were being abused--verbally and emotionally--if his civil rights were being violated? If his wife were screaming constantly and without reason or provocation in front of children from ages 6-13, if his wife were misuing him in front of their children--repeatedly, repeatedly--both in their home and in public?. Where would a man turn for help if this condition has existed for 14 years and had gotten progressively worse? Where would the man turn for help without being in fear of having his spouse take his beloved children away from him? How does he find out what his rights are and who to turn to for help?

Any information you could give me would be greatly appreciated.




PIMP_DADDY
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12/12/2002
18:56:54
RE: abusive behavior
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I'll tell you where to turn. Turn around and open up your hand and swing back like your playing tennis and slap the broad. Make sure you do it in front of the boys so they know how to respond to a woman when she'd out of line.

If that doesn't work...call me at 1-800-SLP-HOES. I'll send one of my assistant pimps to do it if you aren't man enough. It'll only cost you $10,000 plus tax...


Jennifer Grant
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12/12/2002
21:16:57
RE: abusive behavior
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In the United States, we have specific criminal statues (laws) for domestic violence defined in our penal (criminal) code (law). I am not a lawyer in Brasil and cannot offer you specific advice, but I feel it is appropriate to tell you the following:
1) domestic violence is dealt with as such in Brasil and extends to members of both sexes.
2) You may wish to obtain a copy of your Criminal Law (Codigo Penal). When I was in Rio, you could find this in the larger bookstores. I imagine the same is true in Belo Horizonte. A copy is also available on line at www.justiciacriminal.ci. I have trouble accessing it directly, but can access it after doing a google search and putting in the search words: brasil codigo penal. Title 1 deals with crimes against the person which I believe extend to domestic situations. These include bodily injury, crimes against honor (which it is possible your situation may fall under, etc.) You may wish to read the code and see for yourself if you have legal standing regarding your situation.
3) You should talk to your local police and make a report of the specifics. This needs to be done during or directly after an incident. If your wife is criminally culpable, you would have a good chance of winning a custody order--at least here in the US. You may wish to see a family lawyer regarding that. I'm sorry, but I have no idea of family law statues in Brasil or the US for that matter, but again, you could get a Family Law Code at a bookstore or consult a Family Law lawyer.
4)Make sure if you take legal initiative that you have not done anything against the law yourself.
5) Her verbal abuse may have something to do with things going on in the marriage. You should take an honest look at what she seems to think the issues are and what truth there is in them. You may wish to get counseling. She does need to learn that her behavior is not appropriate under any circumstances, but it is possible that she will desire to change that behavior if attention is being paid to the issues which trigger it. She also needs to have counseling to modify her behavior. If criminally convicted, it is possible that this will be court ordered.
6) You may wish to seperate. Get help for yourself in the meantime. Next time there is an episode which threatens bodily harm or 'defames your honor'as defined in the criminal law, you should make a police report. In the meantime, I would also see a religious person at your church, or someone who has a strong faith in God who you can trust. This type of abuse is something that faith can help you to handle more effectively. I also think you should get counseling with or without her if you can afford it or it is offered free somewhere.
5) Many times this type of behavior is triggered by substance abuse on behalf of one or both parties. If that is an issue here, it needs to be addressed. It is also possible mental illness or physical illness causing mental symptoms is involved and needs to be treated.
6)While anytype of criminal or abusive behavior is never justified, the victim can also take steps to help himself. You may wish to read more about domestic abuse and the psychology behind it. There are papers on the internet if you run a search under 'domestic abuse'. There is an article I wrote which explains the legal aspects from the woman's point of view(however,the procedural aspects should extend to all domestic violence incidents) in the BRAZZIL October issue you can access off this website by going to back issues. Do some learning on your own.
7) I know that the first poster was not serious, but please make sure you don't do anything to strike back. When she gets going, walk away. You can tell her that you will talk to her when she can speak calmly. If she can get to a point where she is calm (and sober), listen to her. You may have a basis to start to resolve the situation directly or indirectly.
8)IF THE SITUATION IS DANGEROUS TO YOU OR YOUR KIDS, GET OUT OF THE HOME AND STAY OUT UNTIL YOU HAVE SOME FORM OF HELP!!!!
Good luck. Hope this gave you an idea where to begin. Domestic violence is a tough issue. Without knowing specifics, it is hard to know exactly what to say to help you. That is why it is important to get one-on-one help as soon as possible. Do it for you. Do it for your kids.



Anonymous
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12/13/2002
12:56:22
RE: abusive behavior
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thank you for your very intelligent and well thought out response. It is indeed helpful and I will take advantage of your words.


savvy
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12/15/2002
11:16:52
RE: abusive behavior
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I know from experience, you picked one lousy country to have a problem in.
First the lawyers are likely to tell you what you want to hear, you will need three seperate lawyers to test and gauge everyones opinion about what you should do and what you can expect, these will be the most expensive whores you have ever rented coupled with the least satisfaction.

You are a man and expect equal and fair treatment regarding the welfare of your children ???
LOL !!!!!!!!!! forget it, this is Brazil!

If you get into a legal fight with your wife she will likely kick your butt legally unless she is a very careless criiminal, practicing whore or drug abuser; of course you will need court approved evidence on paper that will remain secure for 3 years.

Prepare for a legal fight that will take years.

Why do you think so many women have such a arrogant aggresive attitude towards men, because they know that the courts favor them dramatically when it comes to where the children will live and alimony.

Rat poison may be your best option.




Down to Earth
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12/16/2002
08:54:09
RE: abusive behavior
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Anonymous, like everywhere else, secretly record/film her doings with you and any evidence of being a good mother, which would highlight her incapacity of having full custody of the children. Hire a good lawyer and file for divorce.

Itís sad when parents do not know each other or cannot solve their differences before they start making babies. The children will be the ones suffering from all that shit.



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