RAPIDINHAS

National
Blockbuster

Fábio Fonseca, a businessman who owns huge freezer-warehouses all over Brazil, has never made a movie in his life. But it was his movie that was announced recently in a spread in Variety, the film industry bible. In association with Hollywood legend Ilya Salkind, the man behind the Superman series, Fonseca is putting up 20 percent of the $50 million required to make an epic about the discovery of Brazil. Brazilians will be celebrating the new millenium as the 500^th year of their discovery in 1500.

Even though Fonseca didn't write the final script, he wrote the first draft and for years has spent a fortune traveling to Hollywood and paying consultants to improve on his idea. While the film is being called Brasil 1500 in Brazil, Salking is using the working title Gonçalo. Gonçalo is the fictitious sailor who will be narrating the adventure of Pedro Álvares Cabral, the Portuguese that discovered Brazil.

Salkind believes in the project so much that he has already spent $300,000 to publicize the film, even though the movie is still in pre-production. On Valentine's Day, planes flew low over the Hollywood studios, drawing hearts and pulling a banner that read: "Gonçalo. The Strongest Man on Earth Has Heart." Three studios are negotiating the rights to distribute the super production. Spanish actor Antonio Banderas, as the star, Marlon Brando, Sônia Braga, and director Michael Cimino as have all been invited to join in making the film. Shooting should start at the end of the year.

Bosom Blossom

With doctors forbidden to use silicone for breast implants in the United States, many American women looking for more voluminous chests have been flying down to Rio. More than 1,000 of them have already made the cosmetic trip, according to plastic surgeon Munir Cury. "Only with silicone are we able to model the huge breasts Americans are so fond of," says Cury.

Sex Games

There are more than three dozen products being sold in Brazil with soccer clubs' logos. They range from the predictable beer mugs to school notebooks. Soon condoms might join the ranks. Since the condom in Brazil is called camisinha (little shirt), the ad campaign could go like this: "Support your team. Wear their shirt and their little shirt." Clubs seem eager to cash in on the idea, but they haven't decided yet if the teams' trademark will be printed on the rubber itself or just on their boxes. And it is not true that the clubs will do anything for a buck. Despite the promise of big bucks, some of them have refused to have their names used by cigarette companies and none have allowed their symbols to adorn coffins.

Bring the Baby

Goiânia is taking the sin out of sin business. Couples with babies, honeymooners, grandpas and grannies celebrating their 25^th wedding anniversary, and show-biz celebrities have been seen making line on the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am kind of motels in that city. By the way, contrary to the U.S., by definition motels in Brazil are not places to sleep. There are at least 100 of these motels in town (this without counting the seedy places catering to cheap prostitution), all doing brisk business.

Frequenting motels seems to have become family pastime number one in the capital of Goiás state, and people from neighboring towns are flocking to these fast-sex joints. Some of the lodges are Five Star. The Imperial suite at the Solarium motel, for example, can accommodate four couples and features a common area with waterfalls and a private area with individual rooms. The business has been so good that farmers are selling their properties and cattle to invest in peoples' desires, with a twist. The biggest and most popular of the sex lodges is the Afrodite, whose suites come equipped with, you'd never guess, a crib!

Gay's Hell

Brazil is not in very good company. Together with India, Romania, Colombia, Nigeria, and Iran it has been identified by Amnesty International in its latest report as one of the countries with more violence against homosexuals. This shatters the image of an everything-goes, unprejudiced kind of country. Amnesty cites the case of Northeastern gay city councilmember Renildo dos Santos, who was assassinated in 1993.

Smelling Money

On average, American multinational companies last year had a 3.98% profitability rate in their overseas operations. In Japan, it was a paltry 1.15%. That explains why the U.S. has been feverishly investing in Brazil. According to the U.S. government, Yankee firms committed $7 billion to Brazilian businesses in 1996 and were regally rewarded with a 12.1% profitability rate. Suddenly they have become the biggest investors in the country.

War Games

Bill Clinton's knee injury made the White House postpone until summer the President's South America trip, previously scheduled for April. But even before that, his visit to Rio was almost scrapped after Washington received a recommendation by American agents to skip the Cidade Maravilhosa (Marvelous City). In a lengthy report, they talked about the firepower of Rio's drug lords and cited the recent police seizure at the Jacarezinho favela (shanty town) of a Swedish-made bazooka capable of launching rockets at a distance of 800 feet.

Just before that, the Carioca police had announced that they are exchanging their old six-shot 38-caliber revolvers for 9-mm automatic pistols, capable of discharging 17 shots before needing a new clip. They will be using weapons that only the Armed Forces could have until now. Are they ready for the anti-tank missiles of the bandits?

Begging for Dollars

Governador Valadares in the state of Minas Gerais has 230,000 residents. It would have more than a quarter million if it weren't for the 27,000 who moved to the United States since 1985. Thanks to all these immigrants, the city had an economic boom. In the last 10 years, 400 new buildings — not including houses and shops — were built, half bought by the American-Mineiros, who invested $154 million in real estate. But now Governador Valadares is going bust.

With the introduction of the real and the end of uncontrolled inflation, the dollar lost much of its glitter and Valadarenses are choosing to keep their investments here in the deep pockets of Uncle Sam. Up to 1994, they were sending back to their hometown $30 million a year. Last year this amount was cut in half. However, the fever to emigrate continues unabated. Since coming to the U.S. legally is getting very tough, several schemes exist to help with the move. A complete package, including airfare and the services of a "coyote" to cross the frontier between Mexico and the U.S., costs on average $6,000.

D.O.A.

Marcelo Cavalcante Mendonça, 26, a radio announcer from São José dos Campos in the interior of São Paulo, almost made it to what he dreamed as his Promised Land, the United States. It took him and friend Josias de Castro, 24, two and a half months to make the journey to the Mexican city of Reynosa, on the frontier with the U.S.. They used a small plane from the Brazilian airforce, buses, and hitchhiking to travel through Central America and Mexico. In Colombia they were robbed of all their money.

At the end, it was impatience that did Mendonça in. He wouldn't wait for a boatman to take them to the other side of the Rio Grande and decided to swim to American territory. Despite being a good swimmer, he never made it, drowning the same way 250 other desperate people do every year.

Coming to the U.S. was an old dream for Mendonça. He tried to get a tourist visa without any luck. He even tried to enter the country as a laborer for a reforestation company. Once again, the Yankee consulate nixed his hopes. Marcelo tried a third time still for a legitimate visa before deciding on the adventure that took his life March 1st.

Dollar Up?

World-respected Oxford Analytica, a British consulting company, in its latest report on Brazil shows some misgivings about the economic future of the country. They are predicting that the Brazilian government might soon devaluate the real. They base their predictions in part on the current political climate. According to them, the Cardoso administration was only able to get a Constitutional amendment approved by Congress in exchange for favors that will cost the Treasury $850 million, which would contribute to the federal budget deficit. "The argument in favor of faster devaluation," they wrote, "is reinforced by the extent to which inflation — now expected to be under 5%, as opposed to 10% last year — has fallen."

Sweet Idea

A sugar that doesn't cause cavities, is great for diabetics, doesn't make you fat, is all natural, and doesn't have a bitter aftertaste like artificial sugar? Is it possible? That's what the "new-sugar" is, guarantee the Brazilians who developed the product for six years and are now launching it on the market. The product was created by Unicamp's (Universidade de Campinas) Faculdade de Engenharia de Alimentos (Food Engineering School), together with Usina da Barra, one of Brazil's largest sugar mills. The product will be on supermarket shelves by the end of 1998, but before that it will be used for sweetening soft drinks and other industrial comestibles.

Absentee Father

There were 1,500 people at the Santos (state of São Paulo) Assembly of God Evangelical Church on February 20. They had all come to see the wedding of Sandra Machado Arantes do Nascimento, 32, and Ozéas Felinto, 29. But everybody seemed to be thinking about an absent person: the father's bride. He had been in town one month earlier for the wedding of another child, Edinho, and there was really nothing that prevented him from giving his daughter away. Sandra was more than one hour late for the ceremony, but the father, Édson Arantes do Nascimento, better known as Pelé, never showed up.

Sandra is the daughter that Pelé, Brazilian Sports Minister, never accepted even though she has been authorized by the courts to use her father's name after DNA tests concluded that she was indeed the daughter of what many consider the greatest soccer player ever. Sandra is the fruit of Pelé's youth love affair with Anízia Machado, a 19-year-old maid who was a virgin at the start of a tryst that lasted three months. The legendary player never helped Anízia. Proud, she was always against her daughter trying to be recognized by the father. For many, Pelé missed a unique opportunity to show integrity and character. As some people commented during the wedding: "This occasion will never come back."

Collor for
President, Now

The impeachment made Former Brazilian President Fernando Collor de Mello, 47, ineligible for any public post in Brazil until 2002, but the former President is planning a comeback to Brazilian politics before that, even though the popular resentment against him is still very fresh. Talking to the new Brazilian weekly Euro-Brasil Press early in March, Collor de Mello reaffirmed his innocence and called his return to public life in Brazil "inexorable."

Moreover, he said that he plans to be a presidential candidate next year. How could this happen? "I am sure I will have my rights back by then," he said. A recent poll by CBN radio with 308 Paulistanos (São Paulo city residents) showed that 176 people wouldn't vote for Collor. More revealing is the fact that 132 might. Starting in August, Collor will become a guest professor at the University of New Mexico. He was invited to teach International Relations.

Collor lost his temper, shouted, and slammed his fist on the table during a recent interview with TV Globo, while denying any knowledge of the links between late Paulo César (PC) Farias, his ex-campaign treasurer, and the Italian Mafia. He talked from his home in Miami about the alleged involvement with the mob of the man who is believed to have masterminded the corruption scheme that led to Collor's impeachment in 1992. When asked by the reporter if he knew any of the people cited in the investigation, the ex-President screamed: "Why should I know them? I am an ex-President. I was judged and declared innocent by the highest court in the land. I can demand respect for my suffering."

Brazil Bound

There is competition in the air. Under a tentative decision announced by the U.S. Transportation Department, Continental and Delta Airlines will soon be able to fly to Brazil. The Brazil-USA corridor represents a market of 2 million passengers a year. Delta is expected to have a daily flight from Atlanta (Georgia) to São Paulo, while Continental would also fly daily from Newark (New Jersey) to Rio. There are other airline companies interested in getting a piece of this growing market. Tower Air has already shown its desire to send their planes south.

The FBI
Is Coming

The FBI is moving to Brazil. The U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigations will be opening an office in Rio in less than a year. The city of Rio de Janeiro had been courting the American federal police for some time, arguing that their presence in the former capital of Brazil would be more much more helpful than in Brasília. Many of Rio's favelas (shanty towns) have been taken over by drug lords, and the FBI is expected to help the city and Brazil fight drug trafficking.

Initially, the FBI office will have from 10 to 12 agents and will be working from a space paid for by City Hall. They will be allowed to carry weapons, track down bank accounts of suspects, and even arrest those being sought by American justice. Not everyone is happy. "This is an absurdity," says former Navy Minister Maximiano da Fonseca. "An FBI office in Rio hurts our national sovereignty. Fatally, the FBI will become involved in matters that are underexclusive Brazilian jurisdiction."

Music
Vade Retro

Carnaval has been a time of total licentiousness in Brazil, foul mouthing, heavy drinking, indecent exposure and rabid sex, the way the devil loves it. The situation is so out of hand that even the Catholic church has given up admonishing believers to stay clear of it all. But in Recife (Pernambuco state), where Carnaval reigns supreme, things seem to be changing.

Thanks to Recife's first lady, Jane Magalhães, songs from the hot group É o Tchan were banned from the Municipal Ball, one of the most animated Carnaval parties in town. Jane, who is an undaunted Presbyterian, stated the songs were "in disaccord with the principles dictated by God." A song she has a special disliking for is "Xô Satanás" (Buzz Off, Satan) by the band Asa de Águia (Eagle's Wing), which has become a national hit and seems tailor-made for a born-again AA meeting. To Jane, the song lacks "the due love to God."

Take a look at the lyrics and listen to the music at our WEB page http://www.brazzil.com

Xô Satanás

Durval Lelys, Marcelo Brasileiro,
Renato Galêgo

Eu era um bêbado
E vivia drogado
Hoje estou curado
Encontrei Jesus
Encontrei Jesus
Encontrei Jesus
Na casa do Senhor
não existe Satanás
Xô Satanás
Xô Satanás
Xô Satanás

Eu tava na vida
Quase a me perder
A minha tentação
Foi amar você
Com tanta loucura
Eu nao agüento mais
Xô Satanás
Xô Satanás
Xô Satanás

Buzz off, Satan

I was a drunkard
I was always stoned
Today I am cured
I've met Jesus
I've met Jesus
I've met Jesus
In the Lord's house
There is no Satan
Buzz off, Satan
Buzz off, Satan
Buzz off, Satan

I was almost
Getting damned in my life
My temptation
Was loving you
I can't stand anymore
So much craziness
Buzz off, Satan
Buzz off, Satan
Buzz off, Satan

Summer
Topless not
toothless

If you are heading down south to Rio's beaches, chances are you will be meeting Marinara Costa. When she is not working — and she is not a fanatic for toiling — Marinara likes to take in all the sun with as little cover as she can. Getting up close and personal with the Ipanema model is quite simple since the beach beauty is very accessible. But we would not get either too personal or too close. Or you could end up as a funk gang did recently.

Witnessing her skimpy tanga and bare breasts, the boys started teasing: "boobie, boobie, boobie." No sweat there. Marinara knows how to keep her cool and appreciates even a little more-risqué gallantry. But she wouldn't take it when one of the pranksters decided to show her his documents, lowering his trunk and exhibiting his virile member. "My name is Marina, police officer," she presented herself. "Pleased to meet you." The funks weren't that pleased to make the acquaintance of the special detective for the Delegacia Especial de Atendimento ao Turista, a tourist police force. Next thing they knew, they were at a police station trying to explain their misbehavior.