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Allen
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11/27/2002
14:44:21
Subject: "what to do with my new "friend"
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I recently met a Brazilian women and I'm a little confused about how to proceed.We met by accident at the store she works at,and struck up a conversation.After a couple of hours of talking off and on, i went home thinking "what a nice person"not to mention beautiful.Anyway,the next day i had an e-mail from her inviting me to e-mail her back and stay in touch.I stopped back at her store that day and said "hi".She informed me that she was going to go to a "Brazillian party"that night.I don't like to read into things so i wasn't sure if it was an invitation or not.Well it was.

Now knowing that the stereotypical Brazilian is friendly,i refused to let myself take any attention/affection the wrong way.When i arrived at the party she turned to me,gave me a big hug and kiss.Surprised me at first,but then i wrote it off.She met with many friends (male and female)that night but no one got the same amount of attention when they first walked up,as i did.

She has insisted that i will learn Portugese and i will help her with her english.We have very nice conversations and i have begun to learn some Portugese.We've talked about going out again but it is difficult because of our schedules and the fact that she has a 2 year old and an ex-husband(Brazilian)who is still in the area.

I would love to see where this could go,but I'm very concerned about misunderstanding any signs that may be a clue to be a little more forward.I'm not looking for a one nighter and I'm not looking for a soul mate,BUT I'm not against it either.

How should i proceed?Should i be blunt and just tell her that I'm attracted to her?I've lived in other parts of the world and i know body language and speech can be deceiving.

If i decide to proceed with developing a relationship,what is the acceptable way to go about it?

Any input from Brazilian women or American men who have had relatiinships with Brazilians is appreciated.


Patinho
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11/27/2002
15:07:58
JUST ASK HER!
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Just be up front and ask her out my freind. Just be sure that she knows it's a date. I too have been "fooled" by the affection that Brazilian women show and yes, it is hard to determine what exactly they mean by it.
If you do not ask her out and continue "adoring her from afar" then it will appear that your freindship has alterior motives and you will be the one to suffer a broken heart in the long run.
On the other hand, if she says no when you ask her, perhaps the relationship will end or you could just get over it and make a freind for life. This was what happened to me once, and I am greatful "she" said no to me, I have a better freind than I could have ever asked for.

Either way... just know that I am an American male that has been in your situation and I know what you are going through.

Either way... good luck to you.
If you want to e-mail me... Patinho__@hotmail.com



Guest


11/27/2002
15:32:46
RE:
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She may have something for you, but so far, what you describe is costumary friendlyness. The extra affectionate act may be because she thought that you felt yourself rather insecure or nervous, and she wanted you to enjoy yourself more.

... that is just my humble (yet not to much) opinion.


Angie
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 Email

11/27/2002
17:58:23
RE:
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I agree with Zé, maybe she is just being friendly, saving face kinda thing. But, when in doubt, being straight forward might be the best option. Just be honest and say you are not sure of her intentions but you'd like her to know you are attracted to her and would like to get to know her better. I believe she'll get the point. Also, I've already mentioned in other posts that BR women like to hunt - OK, OK!!! there are exceptions! If she is a true BR, and if she likes you, and if you don't do anything, she will. Oh, yeah, baby! ;)


Allen
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11/27/2002
19:08:44
RE:
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Thanks everyone.to answer a few questions,SHE has made it quite clear we are going out again.I'm not really "adoring from afar",I would like to see where this leads,whether it is friendship or more,i'm just trying to make sure I'm not mixing my signals.I would hate to make the wrong move and destroy a blossoming friendship.

It's strange but it has been a long time since I've hung out with someone that i enjoyed being around this much.Even with the language barrier,the conversations leave me with a good feeling.The nice thing about all of this is that i didn't come into it with a Brazilian"fetish" so i know that isn't the driving force behind this new friendship.BUT,my god are there some beautiful Brazilian women.I really love the eye contact.When we talk there is just continuous eye contact,and looking at her isn't too hard on the eyes.I can see why men purposely seek out these women.


Mojo Jojo Jo
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11/27/2002
19:12:08
RE:
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Grow a freakin spine!!

Brazilian want their men to be men. If you want her then act like one and you'll get her.

Otherwise forget it.



Guest


11/27/2002
20:18:03
RE:
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Be as you are...


Adrianerik
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11/28/2002
09:04:07
RE:
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I met five of my Brazilian friends in Florida during a Disney trip.

One night one of them was going out to meet a guy she had met before. She was dressing up really nice. I asked her why was she looking so nice. She said that "tonight I am going to seduce him".

What a word...seduce!!!!

ps - She did it. Couldn´t get rid of the guy.


Allen
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11/28/2002
10:10:16
RE:
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Funny you mention Florida,thats where I'm at.When i met this women at the party she invited me to,i nearly fell over.She looked fantastic.i mean she looks great normally but that night....WOW


Angie
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11/28/2002
10:37:46
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Oh! What's her name? What's her name? Maybe I know her!... (joke)

I was living in Plantation until october 3rd. If it doesn't work with her, let me know. Maybe I could hook you up with someone else? I have a few good brazilian friends there. Have you been to Deerfield beach? 80% of the pple. are from Brazil there. I used to go once in a while, just be careful. There are many "gold diggers" there. Maybe I should say "green card diggers"? Fun, nevertheless.


brazzaboy
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11/28/2002
15:40:08
RE:
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As usual sound advice from Angie and Ze. Listen to them my friend they will NOT lead you astray.

Now Angie I am looking for a nice Brasileira to marry (in Brasil) know any nice gals there?


Patinho
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11/28/2002
21:30:48
RE:
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Angie,

I used to visit Miami 3 or 4 times a year until my Brazilian freind moved to Deerfield Beach, now I visit there. It is truly amazing how concentrated the area is with Brazilians. My freind told me this several times, but I didn't believe her until I got there... almost her whole block was Brazilian, Brazllian stores, Brazilian resturaunts... amazing. It's like a Brazilian city in America.


Angie
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 Email

12/01/2002
08:33:10
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It's pretty amazing, isn't it? I used to go to the Brazilian supermarket on I-10 only to buy barbecue meat (picanha) and soap (!). I get nostalgic.

Brazzaboy: So you'd like to marry a brazilian. When you say "in Brazil" you mean you are living in BR now? I'd say the best way is to come to Brazil and spend a few weeks here. I have a few single friends, but I don't think any of them is looking for an american to get married. Tip: Carnival is coming up... you could go to a not so tourist oriented place and maybe meet a nice girl?! Another good suggestion: Come to BR to teach english for a while. I have a Texan friend who did that, and ended up engaged. Unfortunately, it didn't work out and he left back to Texas on Friday, heartbroken, but happy to be back in his own country.



brazzaboy
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12/01/2002
13:46:50
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Thanks Angie. Funny you should mention that as I am currently looking for private language schools to teach at. I am a fully certified ESL instructor and cannot wait to get back to Brasil.


Angie
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 Email

12/01/2002
15:22:39
RE: What do I do with me new friend
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Brazzaboy,

Send me an e-mail. I might have something for you, jobwise that is. angelzap@hotmail.com
Please, write brazzaboy on the subject of the e-mail!!! Thanks!


Patinho
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12/02/2002
02:44:47
RE:
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Angie-

I know that wasn't meant for me, and I'd hate to be rude, but sometimes desperation will drive a person to that.

If it doesn't work out with Brazzaboy, I might be interested.

Again, sorry to be the "uninvited guest".


Angie
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12/02/2002
04:19:11
RE:
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Patinho,

e-mail me. Don't forget to write something on the e-mail subject to let me know it's you. I don't open e-mails from addresses I don't recognize. Thx.


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