Baring for votes

Naked Núbia for city council

Naked Núbia de Oliveira

The epithet Peladona (stark naked lady) by which actress and model
Núbia de Oliveira is known shouldn’t hurt
her chances to get elected as a member of Uberaba’s (state of Minas Gerais) city council in the coming October election.
Au contraire. Núbia Peladona, also called Uberaba’s Porno Girl, has even a political platform. “My main objective is
to improve basic education,” she revealed recently. She also promises to take care of the rural population. In this
field the actress-cum-model has some experience: twice a month she drops by her father’s farm in Uberaba for a quick
visit. Núbia’s best political appearance until now, according to some of her potential voters, happened in June when
she appeared on TV Manchete novela (soap opera)
Tocaia Grande as a modern Lady
mounting a white horse and wearing nothing more than a parasol and an enigmatic smile.




Taking with them


Not even death should be now a deterrent to those fans so committed to their soccer teams that they are
determined to love their colors to death and beyond. Brazilians’ passion for
futebol has inspired Polish undertaker Carlos
to create designer coffins with the colors and symbols of the country’s most popular teams. At Funerária Paraná
in Curitiba (state of Paraná) fans of popular soccer teams such as Flamengo, Fluminense, Palmeiras, Corinthians
and Atlético Paranaense, among others, can bid their final farewell inside one of these caskets. “These are for those
who have made futebol their religion,” explained Sysocki, who started the business in response to a series of requests
of bereaved relatives.




No more secrets


The address is http://www.odci.gov/cia
There the Central Intelligence Agency has made public a fraction of the
information they’ve been gathering on Brazil for many decades. Despite
the little room reserved for the country, the Langley gumshoes are able
to present some detailed information on the other land down under, like
the percentage of votes won by every one of the six candidates on the
October ’94 presidential election. They even add the information to
that election: “second free, direct presidential election since 1960.”
Males fit for military service, reveal the page, are 29,815,576. The
site also discloses that Brazilians speak Portuguese, Spanish, English,
and French. That’s secret info. No Brazilian knew about that. The CIA
effort doesn’t mention, however, the recently uncovered scheme by which
that intelligence agency was paying Brazilian Federal Police agents to
fight narcotraffic. When President Fernando Henrique Cardoso mentioned his displeasure after finding out about that, the US State Department answered
with an impish, “We didn’t know anything either.”


Touch vote

Come October 3, 30 million Brazilians living in cities with a population of 200,000 or more will be voting by
computer for the first time. The voters will not use pencil, pen or any piercing object since all they have to do is to key in
the number of their candidates for mayor and city council. Shaped as a toaster oven, the voting computer has the
numbers displayed as in a public phone. Tests in several markets, according to the electoral authorities, have shown that
the gadget makes it easier for illiterate, functional illiterate and the visual impaired to vote. There are 8 million voters
in these conditions in Brazil. More than $70 million were spent by the TSE (Tribunal Superior Eleitoral —
Superior Electoral Tribunal) for 73,780 computer terminals.


Unlucky penny

Luzia das Virgens e Silva from Maceió, state of Alagoas, thought she was a lucky woman. After decades of work
she was able to retire with what she expected would be a reasonable pension. Besides, the Brazilian constitution
establishes that no one can receive a less than $100 pension. Inflation and changes of currency (cruzeiro, cruzeiro real,
real), however, have contributed to her monthly check to dwindle to 1 cent. Yes, one miserable penny. Ever so efficient
the government keeps sending her the pay check at a cost of 57 cents per check. This story shows why more than
10,000 checks sent by the Social Security are never cashed. It would be way too expensive to do it.


New strand of hair

There are Brazilian hands on Lybian leader Muammar
‘s head. The 3,000 new hair filaments Khadafy
got over his fast-balding scalp was the work of

Munir Miguel Curi, a Paulista (from São Paulo) plastic surgeon who
was also the inventor, ten years ago, of the filament-by-filament implant technique that seems to work much better
than the traditional way of skin patches. The microsurgery happened in October, but it was kept secret. Curi himself is
mum. “Ethics prevents me from releasing my patients’ names,” he said. It can take six months for the new hair to
start growing. That would explain why Khadafy these days has always some sort of cap covering his head.


Now enquiring minds know

Who are the wealthiest celebrities in Brazil and how much are they really making? That was the theme of a recent
cover story by ever so exacting newsweekly magazine
Veja. At the top of the list for the 20 biggest earners between May
’95 and April ’96 came Gugu Liberato, a TV presenter, who makes an average of $1.5 million a month. And then
there are:


2. Roberto Carlos (singer and composer) — $1.1 million

3. Xuxa (TV presenter and singer) — $1 million

4. Beto Carrero (circus’s entertainer) — $450,000

5. Raça Negra (musical band) — $410,000

6. Zezé di Camargo & Luciano (country singers) — $356,000


7. Paulo Coelho (esoteric writer) — $350,000

8. Leandro & Leonardo (country singers) — $315,000

9. Mamonas Assassinas (musical band) — $275,000

10. Jô Soares (TV presenter and writer) — $228,000


11. Fausto Silva (TV presenter) — $208,000

12. Mônica Buonfiglio (esoteric writer) — $200,000

13. Angélica (TV presenter) — $196,000

14. Tom Cavalcante (TV comedian) — $195,000

15. Fábio Jr. (TV actor and singer) — $194,000


16. Chitãozinho & Xororó
(country singers) — $190,000

17. Eli Correa (radio presenter) — $170,000

18. Lair Ribeiro (self-help writer) — $160,000

19. Benedito Ruy Barbosa (TV soap opera writer) — $150,000

20. Miguel Falabella (TV actor and playwright) — $140,000


The king's other daughter

It was a court struggle that included blood tests and vehement paternity denials, but at the end
Sandra Regina Machado, 26, was able to change her name to Sandra Regina Machado Arantes do Nascimento.
Arantes do Nascimento, as you know, is also the surname of Brazil’s Sports Minister,
Édson Arantes do Nascimento, better known all over the world as Pelé. Sandra was the fruit of an inconsequential liaison between Pelé and maid

Anísia Machado.


Humming along

It’s all there at the Cremerj’s (Rio’s Regional Council of Medicine) journal. Brazilian
Ivo Pitanguy, arguably the world’s most famous plastic surgeon, has some impressive numbers to show at 70: 40,000 plastic surgeries
performed, 50 books written, 800 scientific papers published. Pitanguy keeps a pace that many of his younger colleagues
can’t match. The celebrity surgeon averages five operations a week and 35 consultations a day.


Real card

Since the end of June Banco do Brasil has become the pioneer in a field that should make life much easier for
Brazilians traveling abroad. That state Bank is offering the Visa Electron, a debit card that can be used all over the world as
any international credit card as well as in automatic tellers that work with Visa cards. Soon, other banks will also be
offering a service that will allow Brazilians to make direct withdrawals from their bank accounts in over 260,000 Visa
and Mastercard terminals around the globe. For the privilege of having their reais automatically converted into the
domestic currency the customer will pay from $1 to $2 per transaction.








Rambling and poetry



The New York ghetto-born rap has quite a following in the suburbs of Brazil’s big cities. Sometimes however
their rhythm and their talk are quite unintelligible to the non-initiated. That’s why last year Radical Records
accompanied its Pivete‘s Ex-Detento release with a glossary. Here’s a little sample of how these youngsters communicate
among themselves:


baseado — friend

boné — (lit. cap) scam

brecha — foul-up

crocodilagem — bad intention

paga-pau — brownnose

pelé — tripping

pungar — to understand

se pá e pum — if possible






Not the same old stuff


Naked woman for the screen.

Naked lady

Brazilians bored or tired of the same old screen savers for their computers will be able now to have women in
different states of undress playing on their monitors when the computer is left idle. HiCom, the company releasing the
Sweet Screen Saver, has selected 45 pictures of three different vixens made by Swiss photographer
Otto Weisser who has made photo essays for men magazines worldwide including
Penthouse and French Lui. Weisser has also worked
with the national product contributing with Globo TV’s openings for
novelas (soap operas) and in the production of
Girls of Fantástico, a promotion for models who were shown
au naturel on Fantástico, a Sunday magazine TV show.
The screen saver program allows the user to decide the order the girls show up, make them dance or break them in
pieces that can then be assembled as a puzzle.

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